White Hot Magik

Decisions, Decisions

Thu, 01 May 2008 21:04:14 GMT

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have greatly loved my experiences here in MSN Space, but I think due to time and ease of use, I am going to revert to using my Blogger account for posting entries. I have been double posting over there for a while now, and it just seems silly to be maintaining two identical blogs. I think my spring cleaning needs to continue to my internet clutter as well. I'll still be back over here reading your blogs, just posting on blogger.

Love ya!!

Getting back to Reality

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 22:07:13 GMT

All good things must come to an end they say. So did my conference and my trip to Nashville. Today I have been sharing my experiences with friends and family. As I rested this afternoon I watched the GMA's Dove Awards ceremony, which was letting out the other night as we walked by. We hung around as the attendees were leaving trying to soak up their uber talent. Did I mention I saw Sandi Patty and was too starstruck to even speak to her?

As someone who has no early childhood education experience, I was blown away by the things I learned. Dr. Lilian Katz was the keynote speaker and hands down gave the best speech I have ever heard on any subject. She reinforced the notion that playing with my children, speaking to them, encouraging whatever they are interested in is the best way to teach them, instead of worrying if they know their ABC's by sight at 4.

Another class I really enjoyed was presented by Dr. Jo of Geo Fitness. Talk about a fireball of a sixty year old. I swear this lady could outmove me at half her age. In fact thinking about how much I need to move to wear off the calories I consumed today at the oilfiled cookoff, is a bit daunting. I better get moving on that four hour hike, because we brought leftovers home for dinner.

I also wanted to leave you a few more linkis. I mentioned that Head Start funding was cut last year. Did I mention by $10 million dollars? If you want an easy link to write your politicians about it, please click here. If you want to read more about what Head Start is doing for people around our country, please go read the stories here.

In news from the home front, I have a bunch of cleaning to do, because I left the boys at home for a week without me. My husband though is a smart cookie, though he did get on the roof and get the airconditioning going today so I can at least clean and be cool. ; )

Getting a Headstart

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:27:56 GMT

I have to tell you, I am feeling very blessed at this moment. I am sitting in a nice hotel room, in a queen size bed to myself with my laptop on a pillow typing away. In a minute I may even go take a long bubble bath soak without anyone to interrupt me. Did I mention I am in Nashville?

Volunteering has afforded me the opportunity to be taken to a conference with our local Headstart program. I have to admit I was gladly accepted the invitation because the trip was free. However today I was privileged to better understand this wonderful organization. Two particular speakers blew me away. I plan to blog about them a little more later.

I like to people watch and enjoy wondering about the people around me and imagine their lives. It was even more interesting to visit with the people sitting around me. I met a lady who teaches preschoolers in East LA, a mom from Brooklyn and a dad from Puerto Rico. I heard several stories from Headstart moms who after enrolling their children have gotten GED's, started college, became teachers, administrators, directors. The support and programs they provide the children and the parents, is amazing.

I have to admit, when I enrolled my son, I was really just looking for an affordable preschool option for my 5 year old who missed the cut off to start school last fall by a few days. What I found is a program designed to give a hand up to low income parents.

Like a lot of education programs, the requirements for Headstart services are increasing and the funding is going down. Headstart currently only serves 48% of the population it needs to reach. I know of a director who due to budget cuts has cut her salary to be 2/3 of her teachers to keep the doors open. If you are at all familiar with the program, and think it is worthwhile, please talk to your elected officials. It would be a shame to see this valuable community program go away.

We Do What We Have To Do

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:44:44 GMT

I have decided to redact my application with any question I don't approve of, and try and talk to the person hiring and see how it goes. At this point it is more for curiosity, if I was serious about the job, I probably wouldn't have posted the application on my blog. Sounds like a good way to get dooced to me.

I cannot in good conscious ignore it, nor do I want to cause a big stink without allowing them an explanation. I know two young women in their 20's working for this newspaper. I hope they are not working in an environment that is detrimental to them, and I hope they don't see the ugly side of discrimination against them as women or mothers. (Neither are mothers yet.)

However my zeal for doing something about it, stems from past experiences. I was forced out of a job for being pregnant. For a long time I was very angry, depressed and beat myself up about it. Five years later, I am more philosophical and only regret one thing. That I didn't do something more to stop other people from being hurt by that employer.

It was my first job after college. I was managing a large nursery in one of the mountain resort towns around here. I had a lot of hope for the job, I was growing, selling and hoping to learn more about the practical side of landscape design. I was eager worked 80+ hour weeks and only took one day off a week. I lived on site and for the most part loved it. A few months in I realized the man that I worked for was a little less than honorable, but in my idyllic head that could be worked around too because I really loved what I was doing.

Then the unexpected happened and I found out I was pregnant. Everything changed. My boss was scared and didn't want me to do many things at work. Originally I thought it was genuine concern for my welfare. I even had my doctor speak to him and try and reassure him that all was okay. Then I realized it was due to concern for his bank account. He was afraid I would sue him. He also didn't think I would work so many extra hours on salary once I had a kid. Which is true, I shouldn't have worked that much in the first place, I was just eager and enjoyed what I was doing. What I had thought I was doing to get things set up and going, was expected for all time.

Toward my fourth month or so, when the pregnancy was very evident, it started getting really ugly. Every few days he would strip me of some responsibility, yell at me in front of customers for something stupid, he even wrote me up for moving product on the shelves after he told me not to touch anything. I cried at night to relieve the stress, but I was determined not to quit, even though in no uncertain terms he told me he wanted me gone. I wanted to hear him say you are fired for being pregnant.

Then I went to the doctor for a regular visit and I had lost 15 pounds. I was shocked since I was growing out of clothes. My doctor very pointedly asked if it was on purpose, when I said no, I spilled my guts about what was going on. She is an awesome doc and held my hand and helped me figure out what to do. I called a the number on the Family Leave Act poster around the office and found out the business was too small for them to do anything and then found the appropriate state office. I talked to the counselors and got all the paperwork and even filled it out. The counselor told me they would mediate with him about the job.

My husband needed to spend the summer taking classes to finish his teachers certificate so he could be a full time teacher with benefits in the fall. The school was three hours away. We lived at the nursery, I felt the pressure to make a decision. I lost more weight, but my tummy grew. I got sent for a high definition ultrasound in Albuquerque to find out if everything was okay. We found out the nephew my sister-in-law was pregnant with had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia and might not live. Suddenly my vision cleared and I decided to resign, move off the nursery property, get medicaid and have a healthy baby.

Finding a job was harder than I thought, I applied for temporary positions, and didn't hide the pregnancy. No one wanted to hire me pregnant either. So I wore a long flowing dress, applied at Wal-mart and didn't say anything about my pregnancy and assumed no one would ask. I was hired and they assigned me a back belt thing, I gave it back with a note from my due date to the HR director. She didn't say a word, but was obviously pissed. That day when I sat down at lunch and talked my usual girls, one of whom was the daughter of the HR lady, she literally turned her back on me and refused to speak to me. They didn't like people who used the company and didn't plan on being there a while. I needed a job and couldn't risk them telling me no based on my pregnancy. I don't regret it one iota.

I went to work, missed my husband during the week. Cried more than I care to recall and sang to that baby in my womb. I feared he would be an angry kid, it had seemed like I was upset the whole pregnancy. An older lady I knew that still worked for him saw me at work and said He said you could come back after the baby, I nearly lost it. I am not sure how loud my voice got, but I recall telling her if I wasn't good enough to work for them now, I wasn't going to be later. By the look on her face, I had hurt her feelings, I guess her generation didn't see what all the fuss was about.

I never turned in the paperwork to the Department of Labor, I didn't want my job back. Some of my family and friends thought I should sue him. I didn't want the stress. I worried about getting a bad name in the nursery industry. I relied on divine retribution for him. I need not have worried about my reputation, his was so bad, other people were surprised I lasted a year working there. Divine retribution has occured, mostly I feel sorry for him, he is such a miserable person, that is no way to live.

I hate that it is still going on. Mrs Skrumshz is experiencing it right now. For her sake, and all the others out there I feel a twinge when I see things like that application because we have rules about how people should behave. Often times the cost of enforcing them can be very rough on the victim and it isn't pursued. So I should do something about it when I have nothing to lose.

Five years later, I have made my peace with it. I wish I had checked him out more thoroughly as an employer, but lesson learned. While I really hurt emotionally over it for a while, I am stronger now. Turns out I lost weight during my second pregnancy about the same time, I think it had more to do with my body than the stress. I don't regret doing what I thought needed to do for my child. He was and still is more important to me that a job.

Luckily my fears about him being an angry child were unfounded.

I'll Take Inappopriate Questions for $1000 Alex

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:41:01 GMT

Yesterday I noticed an ad on the front page of our local newspaer. (Yes, they are rebels and advertise on the front page.) It beckoned stay at home moms to become delivery drivers, it even mentioned you could take your kids with you. Since I still don't have a sitter for the wee one, this sounded like a good idea to me. Our paper only runs Tuesday - Friday in the afternoons and on Sunday morning.

I dropped by today and the man doing the hiring wasn't in but one of the ladies gladly handed me an application. Some of the questions I have never seen on a job application before and I have to wonder if they are even legal.

In case you cannot read them well, here they are....

Single, Married, Divorced or Widowed?

Wife/Husband's Name?

Wife/Husband's Occupation?

How many children do you have?

Are they in school?

Height?

Weight?

Hair Color?

Eye Color?

Maybe I should throw in my bra size as a bonus.

Addendum: I am not sure what to do with this application. What would you do. (Remember getting the job isn't too important to me.)

Turn it in and say nothing. (The thought of that makes my stomach turn.)

Don't turn it in and don't say anything.

Call or write a letter and ask them to explain it.

Turn it in the Department of Labor.

Busted!

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:45:43 GMT

I got busted wearing my workout clothes all day.

I got busted with a muffin top after not wearing my slimming camisole.

I got busted with frizzy hair.

I got busted not wearing makeup.

I got busted letting my 3 year old wear whatever he wanted.

I got busted caring what some dude from high school thought of how I looked now.

Friday's Frugal Find

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:36:42 GMT

Homemade Pizza.

I know some of us mostly order pizza because we don't feel like cooking and they bring it to us, but if you like pizza in particular the kind your local pizza shop makes, I have an easy recipe for you. It is easy to make, can be refrigerated or frozen for later use, and aside from rising time is a quick and easy dinner to make. In fact I kind of prefer the dough when it has been in the refrigerator for a day or two it is extra yeasty and yummy.

I bake mine in this large stoneware pan and also in these little personal size pans that my boys love. For sauce, I use a small can of tomato sauce spiced with garlic salt, Italian seasoning and a dash of oregano. (Although sometimes I use the prepared spaghetti sauce such as Classico Four Cheese if I have some on hand.) Toppings of course are your choice.

I do think buying the small balls of fresh mozerella have the best flavor but I sometimes get the shredded mozzeralla too. Here is the controversy in my family. Anytime my husband actually pays attention in this process he tells me I do it wrong because I put the cheese on before the toppings and sprinkle a bit of cheese on top of the toppings. He swears this is incorrect, I swear he is and suggest he make it next time. (But then again it is really just a game, he doesn't care, he just likes bothering me.)

2 cups warm water*

1 package of active dry yeast (regular or quick rise)

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons of olive oil

4 cups of flour.

In a large bowl mix the warm water, sugar and package of yeast together. *See the package of yeast for the best temperature of water, you don't want it scalding it will kill the yeast and your dough won't rise. Let it sit or "proof" for about 10 minutes. Then add the olive oil.

Add the first three cups of flour and mix. Add the fourth cup a little at a time until dough isn't sticky any more. (Flour your hands first.) Knead dough for a while maybe five minutes. I just continue in the same bowl. Once dough is elastic and not sticky. Then transfer to a oiled bowl and cover with a dish towel and put in a warm place. My mom likes the microwave (not on of course).

Let rise for about an hour or until doubled in size. This is the stage to refrigerate or freeze if you so choose. I sometimes make a double batch and freeze half for later. I wrap in oiled saran wrap and then put in a baggie in the freezer.) Divide dough into two pieces, take one piece of dough on a floured work surface and hand roll out dough. I have not mastered the flipping but with hand streching I get it right. I place in one of my stone pans ligthly greased with olive oil. (If your stone is well seasoned this step is not necessary.) Add toppings and bake for 12-15 minutes or until the crust is nice and brown at 450.

You can also make the pizza in a regualar pizza pan, or a cast iron skillet or on a baking stone. With the stone, the trick is to dust your pizza peel board with cornmeal underneath the dough, and the pizza will slide right off onto the stone.

While this may seem complicated, I swear it would take me less time to make a pizza than it did to type this up. My kids also love pizza night and like to help me make the dough and make their own little pizzas. (My hope is one day they will make pizza for thier wives.)

My polymer clay habit

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:57:33 GMT

Some of you may have wondered what I do when I am not wrangling pests.
(I'll let you use your own judgment about if I mean two legged or six legged pests.)
I have been starting making beads a couple of years ago, but due to moves, life etc, I had put this hobby on hold.

I have been reading polymer clay blogs and wishing I could be on the level of this, or this and this.

Thankfully my aunt, who lives nearby, had some extra room in her studio and let me have a corner. The best way to learn is to practice, and I needed a gift for my mother-in-laws birthday. My husband suggested hummingbirds and this is what I came up with.

I think the colors look a bit better in person, I don't have any fancy schmancy lighting equipment.

I need to work on my wire wrapping skills.

Luckily she tends to love whatever we give her, even if I am not so sure about it. Now I just need to make a bunch more to perfect it.

My Best "Girlfriend" Advice on How to be The Best Mom you can be.

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:19:22 GMT

I have been thinking about this topic for a while. Yesterday while reading the Parent Bloggers Network, I decided to participate in my first ever Blog Blast. They are trying to find out the truth behind Motherhood in conjunction with the Discovery networks new docu-drama Deliver Me.

I hosted a baby shower for a one of my oldest and bestestest friends ever and I even put together a little book where everyone at the shower was supposed to give their best mommy advice to her. My advice was super super lame, I think I said something about enjoying them because they grow fast. Not that it isn't true, but really she could get that advice anywhere.

When I thought about it the advice I would give a lot of things came to mind. Most of which I probably read before becoming a mom, but I have to learn everything the hard way, through experience.

Motherhood is tough, much harder than I ever knew.

I try to thank my mom all the time and grandmothers all the time. I use the mantra at least I don't have thirteen in reverence to my great grandmother all the time.

Motherhood makes you grow as a person.

I swear God is trying to work on all of my issues through my kids, because apparently you need to be mature to guide them. (Who knew?)

Motherhood is messy.

It hasn't helped me to become the neat freak I someday hope to be, with spilled juice, dirty diapers and toys strewn about. You will care more about poop than you ever imagined.

Motherhood is lonely sometimes.

You will probably feel like no one understands what you are going through or that you can't take one more second of it sometimes. We all do, we all get it and seriously just reach out to me or whoever you need. Okay? You are normal don't beat yourself up about it.

Motherhood doesn't really have any hard and fast rules.

What works for me doesn't always work for you. What worked with kid #1, won't work with kid #2. There will be times when you feel pressured to do something other moms around you at church, daycare or whatever are doing that doesn't work for you. It's okay.

Motherhood is hard to let go of.

Meaning leaving your kids sometimes is the hardest thing you will do, even if it is with mom or hubby. Do it. Trust me, hubby will figure it out given enough opportunity. If he is never on his own with them, he won't be able to take care of them. You need some time on your own on occasion.

However that wasn't the advice I really wished I had given either. This is the thing that continually pops in my head.

Don't fail to have sex with your husband.

Just in case you thought I meant with someone else. : 0

Doesn't exactly sound profound, progressive or even having to do with motherhood, does it?

I think what I am trying to say is in the midst of your body wildly changing, becoming a mother, your breasts being used for a purpose you may have never contemplated before. Not to mention the vjayjay being out of whack.

However I dropped the ball on this one. I think it profoundly affected the next few years. (Now I bet at least one person who reads this will think, no he was the jerk. He was, but the point is we lost a connection before he really got his jerkiness on.) Luckily we worked it out and yes intimacy played a big part in that.

I know what you might be thinking. I need a shower... tell him that, trust me, he will pitch in more readily if he knows what to do. My husband claims he cannot read my mind. Yeah I have noticed that honey.

I know what you might be thinking. Eww my body is fat and flabby now I don't even want to go near it.... imagine you have Cindy Crawford's body or whomever you like, I bet he doesn't even care.

I know what you might be thinking. I will scream if one more person wants to touch me. Get a breather, make sure you are getting some baby free time (see letting go above.)

Most importantly have fun and don't forget to spend some time with the hubby whether you get it on or not. Okay. Really it is that important, our kids deserve to have healthy happy parents.

Just one last piece of girlfriend advice though... don't forget the birth control unless you want another one right away. It happens more often than you might think.

Frugral Friday's Find

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:32:40 GMT

Staying home means a very limited budget anything I can do to buy less is great. I love ideas that turn something I am keeping around the house into more uses.

I have been making my own syrup this week. I really like those fancy coffee creamers but wanted to cut out corn syrup so I switched to half & half a while back. So then I used a commercial coffe syrup because it was made with sugar, water and flavorings, not corn syrup, and I could add just a teaspoon of the syrup and was happy.

As it ran out I remembered how my mom always made her own pancake syrup with sugar water and maple flavoring. So I heated up some water added some sugar and raspberry extract and almond extract. Excellent addition to my coffee, and I didn't have to buy anything I didn't already have in my cabinet.

Here is the basic recipe folks....

2 cups sugar

1 cup boiling water

1/4 tsp of flavoring of choice.

Next time I may try orange.. butter pecan... amaretto... the possibilites are endless.

March Madness

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:08:52 GMT

March is a busy month. A time of change, rebirth, first blooms of spring. The last few years it has been the moving on after a hard winter, ones that contained too many goodbyes to loved ones.

Three years ago at the end of February we said goodbye to my grandfather and my husbands father within days of each other. We knew March would bring about a big change because Bubbles II, as we called him back then was just waiting to make his entrance. Three weeks later he joined us on the 21st.

I admit to being surprised when I first saw him. The reddish blond hair threw me for a loop. He was healthy and beautiful and of course big brother loved him too.

While in the beginning I saw a carbon copy of Zach except with blond hair, his personality has developed to be quite different than Zach. Maybe it is being the little brother, but he knows how to assert himself a lot more. In good ways and bad. Fun loving and adorable he garners attention where ever we go. Daring he can be found repelling, jumping and climbing.

One sitter dubbed him "Frank" because of his brilliant blue eyes. He tends to be a bit more pensive at times and can be found staring out his window, when he will sit still that is. He is one busy guy. In fact it will take me all day to write this between his "help" and the things he gets into when I am otherwise engaged. In all ways a typical 3 year old boy.

I may have got more than I bargained for thinking Zach needed a baby brother. Together they are a force to be reckoned with. While Zach runs to me and cries, Max take care of the problem himself, and then runs to me and cry. We actually thought we would have to hold him back from beating the kid who pushed Zach down at a soccer game. That's not nice Jackie, raging from his mouth.

He looks more like daddy than his brother does. I think he acts most like my father, quiet but forceful. The pediatrician at his 3 year old well child check up thought perhaps he is behind on speech and ordered an evaluation. We will see, I just think he doesn't always feel the need to speak. My grandmother claims they thought my dad was deaf he could ignore so well, Max seems to have the same skill. However he will tell me what he thinks. The other day as I called him Max Attack, he informed his name was MAXWELL WHITE, OTAY?

Otay baby, oops I mean big boy, I know you aren't a baby anymore. However you will always be my baby. I am glad that I saw a catalog cover with a boy and his baby brother that made me think, I need another. You are my favorite first blossom of spring.

Can you please explain to me?

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:13:05 GMT

When did I get old?

I have been hurting badly this week. My hip went out. I know, it sounds like something that happens to an eighty year old. I was in enough pain to go the chiropractor and get a massage. Both of which I had never done before and quite frankly made me uncomfortable. Both of which were good experiences and not so bad. I may have to get a real job so I can afford the good life now.

Everyone who sees me painfully get up or sometimes walk asks what happens. Besides slacking on yoga and water aerobics, this is my answer...

I am including the big version because while he looks cute and innocent I should tell you he refused to take a nap that day as is more and more the case. I swear he fell asleep in three seconds flat. Notice the one boot on, one boot off and the half eaten granola bar. Please don't notice the dirt on the floor. No really stop looking at it now and go on to the next section. I love him I really do, but I should hire him out to Hoover to test floor mates. I have been through two, maybe because I have to use it fourteen times a day for all the messes he makes.

What is the deal with the commercial for vitamin water?

I want to slap those jerks in the gym crying my water has too many calories. Because mine has none, zero, zip and I like it fine. Maybe I am overexcited because a lady the other day commented my kids were different because they liked water.
or
Now you know I am cheap and don't buy sodas or juice. You might also correctly assume I am jealous of people who actually work out, and whose hips work.

This isn't very timely but it has been bugging me for a while. I hate seeing people on my TV telling me to be green and save the planet when....

They completely change their sets to the color green to emphasize being green and then the next week are back to their old colors. Perhaps you have heard of Recycle, reuse and REDUCE!
or
Maybe I am just trying to justify the fact that I don't recycle glass properly. I have a Rubbermaid tub of it in the back and dream of buying a big machine to tumble into something pretty. Plus I would have to take it to Roswell or Ruidoso or something our city doesn't take it. Don't laugh that I just called Artesia a city, okay laugh it is funny.

Oh and to answer my new friend Weime's question. After all she was the inspiration since a list of these ponderings on her blog. Weeds actually do grow faster, because they outcompete the other plants, one of the characteristics that makes them weedy. They also usually outcompete the native plants for water, sunlight and nutrients. In some ways you could call them genetically superior, but really they are just invaders and usually non native. (I hope that question wasn't just rhetorical.) You thought when I told you I had a degree in Entomology, Plant Pathology and Weed Science it was funny. My mother still cannot say it without giggling.

Night all I am off to hobble to bed, actually I am getting better and better. I might walk like a 60 year old tomorrow. I plan on being thirty again next week or so.

What do you think?

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:40:47 GMT

I had another topic in mind but as I opened the MSN home page today this headline caught my eye and I feel the need to give my opinion, and find out yours.

This is the story of a mother going to trial for leaving her child alone asleep in the car.

These are the facts of the story...

She was taking her kids to drop of money to the salavation army bell ringer at a walmart.

Her 2 year old in backseat strapped in had fallen asleep.

She parked in the loading zone and was never out of eyesight of her asleep child, and the car was locked. She never entered the store, nor intended to.

I think it is ridiculous. I would have done the same. I have done the same, buying newspapers or dropping of mail at the post office. Had she left the child while she went inside that would have been different. I don't think she "endangered" her child nor deserves punishment. There are plenty of people who deserve that who aren't getting it.

Just so you know these are my rules for this.

It has to be fast, very fast. --Any obstacle, like I cannot see the car at all times or it might take more than 30 seconds, I don't do it.

My kids are both able to unbuckle themselves and unlock the doors so I don't dare leave them for any longer.

However as kids, we were left alone all the time for quick trips into the store. It was common then.

What do you do and think?

8 Things Meme

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:08:11 GMT

This is meme from Contents of My Life, stop by and visit her if you haven’t already. Some of you may remember her as Curly Sue from MSN. I had started a post my top ten ways to relieve stress. Oddly enough most of them are in the things I am passionate about....

8 Things I Am Passionate About:

Singing Crafting — polymer clay, watercolors, making cards…. have a thousand more things I want to learn.
trying to be a better…. wife, mom, person… Chile (red,or green)
Gardening
Chocolate
Amazing Grace — I wouldn’t be where I am without it. Yoga & Water Aerobics. (I extol their virtues to everyone, now I just need to do them more.)

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

Visit Scotland
Visit NYC
Visit New Zealand Skydive
Stay in a luxury hotel.
Make out with my hubby on a deserted beach ala From Here to Eternity.
Be financially secure
Be on What not to Wear….I want that Nick guy to cut my hair.

8 Things I Say Often:

Stop that!

 Do you need to go to the potty? 
Put on some underwear!

      Please put your boots on.

Aw Pickles! 
 What’s the dill? Pickle?  
Pretty much this whole song….

 I love you…

Rock-n-roll! 
 What’s up Chicken Butt?

8 Books I’ve Recently Read:

Sense and Sensibility — Jane Austen

Pride and Predjduce — Jane Austen

Band of Sisters — Kirsten Holmstedt

Driving with Dead People, A Memoir– Monica Buckley Price

Infidel — Ayaan Hirsi Ali

The first four books of the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon

8 Songs I Could Listen To Over and Over:

American Woman by Lenny Kravits

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall

 Oh Marie — Louis Prima

Brave– Nicole Nordeman

 One — Metallica

I Bless your Name –Selah?

 Amazing Grace (My Chains are Free) — Chris Tomlin

Anything by my buddies Nosotros.

8 Things That Attract Me To My Best Friends:

Do they make me think?

Do they make me laugh?
Do they get my jokes?
Understanding of each others problems.
Being able to help, even when the other person isn’t asking.
Their individuality Lack of Drama (meaning mean spiritedness, not problems, everyone has those.)

Acknowledging my personality quirks yet still love me

When I get where I am going.

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:10:22 GMT

Have you ever realized you were doing exactly the same thing last year or the year before and wondered about the pattern? I found myself doing that yesterday. I was typing up an obituary for my grandfather three years ago and oddly enough I found myself writing one for his wife, my dear Nanny three years to the day later. Odd how that works out.

I will always remember and have a slight ache for these people. I am the eldest grandchild, some would claim more spoiled that the most. Of course all those people are younger than me and I could point how in my eyes they stole some of my attention, but I digress. ; )

I have a cousin only 6 weeks younger and when we were old enough they started taking us for camping trips. I think around the age of 4 or 5, we would load up in their motor home and go the the mountains or a lake. Pa pa used to like to tell how we were asking Nanny to fix us a snack before we hit the city limit sign. I wonder if I would still enjoy a can of beanie weenies so much.

On Saturdays they would call and we would all go over and he would load us up in the van and take us to Roswell and we would go to K-Mart, which usually meant some snacks we didn't get at home like an Icee and if we were lucky a new toy. By this time that might mean taking 6 or 7 kids. I don't recall my mom asking them to watch us much, I remember it being the other way around, them calling to see if we could come over.

I remember realizing with this side of the family we were a bit redneck. They were both from Oklahoma. Nanny was the daughter of a preacher who married the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Pa pa's family were had some rascally habits by the stories my mom tells. One of them paints his father as a man who was kicked out of the New Mexico Territory for preaching on street corners, collecting and offering and then using the money in the bar. Where as Nanny's dad was a respectable preacher named King David. I was always fascinated by that name until she told me that she had an Uncle named XYZ since he was the last kid.

Christmas was big at their house that is where we spent Christmas morning. Nanny had a big Sears catalog and we would spend hours going through it writing our names next to stuff we wanted. Then we would spend days trying to guess what was in the boxes under the tree. One year I had decided based on the shape, size and weight that she had got me the Crayola Caddy I put my name by. However oddly enough on Christmas morning that present was no where to be found, she had hid it, since I was such a smart alec and figured it out.The three of us at my brothers wedding.

We were all welcome anytime, if you knocked on the door before entering you would get razzed. We would drop by with dates in high school or our friends, we were always welcome. Sunday dinners after church with food supplied by Colonel Sanders, then we would fall asleep watching T.V. Their house was the hub for birthday parties, holiday parties, and any day of the week dropping by.

Gamely wearing the ballon hat I made at the family reunion.

I felt a very tight bond with Nanny, and I know most of my cousins would say the same. Although I think out of all my grandparents I am the most like her. She could be stubborn and tough, but full of laughter. We all teased each other and having a quick wit was a requirement around her. The last conversation I had with her, we laughed about how I met one of her former home nurses who gushed about how much she loved my Nanny because when she asked her to do something she didn't want to she replied I am old and I don't give a damn. Even though I have know this day was coming for over a year, it still takes my breath away to realize she is gone now.

With my nice and nephew and one of my favorite photographs of her.

The funeral is Friday morning and we want to celebrate the Legacy my grandparents left us, especially her. We have laughed and cried all day with stories and remembering. My cousin spilled red nail polish on the carpet and as we cleaned it up, I told him she is up in heaven saying those darn kids, I leave for ten minutes and you make a mess.

I love you Nanny and know I'll see you again. Have that can of beanie weenies ready okay?

A New Addition to the Family

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:40:49 GMT

Isn't he cute! His name is Sgt. Pepper affectionately called Sarge. Many have asked his breed. He is a Cocktail Weinie. I don't know if this breed is recognized by AKC, since we made up the name. He is half Cocker Spaniel and half stray Wiener Dog. (I have to give credit to Ben, I was calling him a Cocker Wienie, a much more suggestive name.) I think he is perfect, he was the last pick of the litter. No one wanted him, but he is perfect for us, the other puppies had long hair like their mother. Short hair is preferable to us with all the desert flora around our place. The boys have already figured out he likes to slide at the park. He gets cold and needs to cuddle. How sweet. Since he will chew toys, the boys have been more apt to pick their stuff up. Any dog training advice appreciated, this is our first dog of our family, althought the hubster and I had dogs as kids that has been a while.

A Night Out In Alientown

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 04:23:57 GMT

We found out the hubby actually gets a pair of tickets to the symphony and since he is busy working I guess it pays to have a guest. After last night I decided perhaps my next guest, myself and the general public need to a refresher course in concert etiquette.

Note: These are not the rules I follow when I got to Metallica or Maiden concerts then whatever I say here reverse that.

No you don't have time to go to Hobby Lobby between dinner and the concert because when you say you only need one thing that is a lie. When you show up late they shut the doors on you and won't let you in. It was an Indiana Jones fly through the door before it shut. Note to self: try to convince her it is closed if you take her next time.

However I do think it is okay to giggle when the audience sits down after the Star-Spangled Banner and it sounds like 500 people just sat on a whoopee cushion since the seats had a weird tendency to deflate upon seating.

Try not to remember the last time you were in this particular auditorium since it was during rat week of your failed military school career.

Your best pit stained Big Dog T-Shirt perhaps is slightly too casual. I do appreciate you expanding your horizons.Try the one that looks like a fake tuxedo shirt next time, much more appro pro.

You may wonder if your brain has been totally corrupted by mass media if during the lovely music you try to remember what Bugs Bunny was doing during that song and you can imagine all the instrumentalists Simpsonized.

Intermission is for going to the restroom, not during the next piece. Although I can only surmise you really needed to go or wanted to compete with the tubist after the emissions as you got up. (Those were not from the seat, I have good pitch and a sense of smell.)

It is probably okay when you hear a collective sigh of relief when the host for the evening explains that they are only doing one piece of an eighteen hour opera.

Try to refrain from exclaiming loudly to your elderly friend "The next soloist is a Chinese Man" Please, that is not the preferred nomenclature, Asian-American please, since he was Korean actually.

Feel free to giggle about the fact that when I spell checked this entry it wanted to replace tubist with tubbiest. (Love you honey!)

I Don't Even Like to Wear Aprons.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 21:40:28 GMT

I think I got the writing bug back, I have been blogging in my mind again, it had been a while. (So beware, He He Haw Haw.)

The previously mentioned problem that I was stuck on, I decided needs to get broken up a bit into a few entries to deal with. I'll start with the easiest aspect of it.

I am no longer working. Technically I can go back to substitute teaching whenever I want, but I don't have any immediate plans of doing so. I have a hard time being unemployed, even by choice. I suppose it just rubs me the wrong way. As my sister and I were discussing it, she mentioned not feeling like we are contributing. Which is of course ridiculous, while not glamorous, taking care of our families is work. However I wonder is it a job?

I have a few feelings about that. Truth be told I am not treating it like I would a job, which is part of the problem. I don't think I have ever been so unorganized in my life. I could blame part of that on living in a small space with not enough real room to do what all I have going on. Of course I just internalize it and think maybe I am not cut out for this.

The reality is that I am so busy that at times I feel overwhelmed. I don't sit around watching TV all day. I am happy if I get to watch a show I want during the day once a week. Getting Zach to school and back, keeping up with Max, helping take care of my grandmothers and the volunteering I signed up for keep me very busy. Not to mention things like housework, cleaning out the old house, ebay and getting all the things done I need to do for my landscaping business.

Since I am not walking into a place of employment every day, getting a regular paycheck and having an answer when someone asks what I do, I feel inferior. I had read an article a while back lambasting women who go to college get a degree go to work for a while and then stay home with their kids and either lose their careers or set themselves back from their peers by getting out of the workforce.

Will I regret not having a work sponsered retirement plan? We could really use the extra income. I wonder if I have gotten too tied up in having it all. Am I making a poor choice for the long term? God forbid, but what if I need to be the breadwinner and this choice sets me back?

I won't lie I worry about getting the kind of job I want when someone looks at my resume and sees the gaps in employment when I have stayed home. I also won't lie about daydreaming of staying home when I was working and tired and feeling like I needed more time with my boys. In my dream world I have my own business with my own schedule, however I am scared because it is a big risk.

I have been praying about the right path and to be frank I didn't like the answer I got, right now stay home. Even still I scheduled a day subbing and quite frankly the day was a disaster in terms of babysitting and things going on at home. While no one in my family asked me to, I told them I was taking a break that day from subbing. At the time, one grandmother was in the hospital, my mom was sick and not sleeping much since she was staying in the hospital room with my her. Then just as the one grandmother got to come home from the hospital the other was hospitalized for a few nights.

Now I spend at least two to three days a week with my grandmothers while Z is in school and I am going to going to work on my ebay store and landscaping business. I am not complaining just stating the facts. One of my grandmothers is dying and I appreciate the time with her. The other isn't technically dying but is 84 and who knows what God has in store for her.

I have to wonder in light of that fact, why I even worry about it. Taking care of family is what the generations of women before me did. Luckily that is not the only thing in life I have been pigeonholed for, I have so many options. I have faith in God's time I will be very successful, and put that degree to use again. I have faith financial securtiy is in my reach. I should simply enjoy my toddler, my preschooler and grandmothers because soon the kids will be in school and the grandmothers in heaven.

I promise I won't become snobbish!

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:50:28 GMT

I have lost count of the number of posts started but not finished. I guess the overriding thing going on in my life isn't something I am ready to write about. So I should just move on and quit trying to make sense of it I guess.

I know that sounds horribly dark and mysterious, it's not really. Life around here is pretty good. Ben has had a serendipitous job change. Last year he quit teaching and I really hated that he wasn't going to be a band director anymore. Music has always been his life. He started off being a music store manager and that ended, which I was glad because it wasn't going anywhere long term. Then he became a locksmith, almost by default it was the only job that called him back. Nice people, and he liked the work, he bored me with long stories about fixing locks. However it wasn't paying well and his training period was up and due to the fluctuations of a small business the promised raise was no where near what we had been told. But he still liked the job, and I was looking into doing something more permanent for work. (Other than substitute teaching and ebay.) Then he was asked to apply for a job as the Manager of the Symphony in the next town north of us. (The town famous for an illegal immigrant crash in 1957.)

It is a perfect fit for his skills it and it more than doubled our income and put us back to near teacher salary. (So we aren't rich but not as poor.) And he loves it so far. The first concert is in a few weeks. For the first time in a long time I am worried about having something nice enough to wear somewhere. Although this is the desert southwest, things are still a bit more casual, it don't need a ballgown or anything too fancy. I haved missed going to concerts this year here in the sticks, we went to quite a bit of the university performances in Las Cruces.

I will admit it is much nicer to say my husband is the Manager of the Symphony. Although most people we know here have never been to a symphony and have no idea what that means. Mostly he is in charge of getting the musicians, they are hired from the area, Lubbock, Albuquerque, El Paso and so on. Lucky he knows so many people from his experience and if not it seems like they knew his dad. He also does fundraising, and ticket sales and the backstage stuff and whatever the Maestro needs him to do. I don't think the "Maestro" insists on being called that and is a really nice guy. Which is wonderful because we have known a few diva's or divos in our day.

So the bottom line is that I can put off having an actual job a while longer and it gives me time to do what I want and need to do right now. Hopefully I'll be able to explain and put into words sometime soon what that is, without boring you to tears. I love it when a plan comes together, especially one better than I had imagined!

We are the Champions

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:42:05 GMT

A certain person wanted to know where I've been and it gave me an idea. I should tell you about it. Around town, my hometown, doing the things you do here. Hanging with the family and going to community events. For instance trying to get a pic of the boys for Christmas Cards. Now I just have to pick one.

I have a lot of family here, most of my aunts and uncles, both sets of grandparents and a plethora of cousins. No really, if I liked a boy in school, I double checked we weren't related in some way. My dad has 50 first cousins on one side!

My great-grandparents homesteaded here in the 1890's and while I never thought I would move back here it has a certain charm. There is comfort in that history. People joke you cannot escape being from here. I guess it is true, even when I didn't live here, when asked that is where I was from and it usually garnered a response. That town smells (we have a large refinery here.) You guys have a good football team, or I stopped there once on our way to Carlsbad Caverns (the next town south), and it stinks there.

If I said one thing this town for, it is undoubtedly football. Have you ever seen that movie FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS? It is bit like that. In fact this past weekend we won our 26th state championship. Which at last count ranked us the 5th most winning high school football team in the nation. The mortar shells from the fireworks during the game going off sounded like we were being invaded. They do it up big here. You must wear orange and black on game days. No really I think you can get arrested, I have never tested it but it would seem to be the case. ; ) The town population is around 10,000 and there are around 12,000 people sometimes at a big rivalry football games.

Here's a video highlight for you, from when ESPN filmed one of our games earlier this year. (Sorry I don't know how to make it play on MSN yet) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCNGkT0JpwI

While I know at times growing up, I somewhat resented that all encompassing passion for football, it took moving away to appreciate the generosity and spirit of this town. I never realized how much more support we had compared to other places. While I recall feeling neglected as a girl athlete (compared to the boys), talking with other girls we had much nicer things than most other schools. Same with the school newspaper, we had nicer equipment than the first college newspaper I worked on. The music department has a beautiful auditorium to hold plays and concerts.

While these are just things, there is just a great spirit of community. Whether your house catches fire and four volunteer fire units show up at your house, or you kid gets cancer and everyone gets their car washed to help your family out. I am not going to pretend we don't have problems because we do.

Then there are the simple acts of generosity, I found out this week my son is getting a new bike because the employees of the refinery are giving all 202 kids at Headstart a new bike for Christmas. Wow.

Sometimes I miss the selection of restaurants, the big chain stores and stuff. However, there are much some more precious commodities here. I rarely feel anomalous here, wether I know the people around me or not. Generosity, spirit, community, it's not bad here where I am at.

Photo Album: Trailer Rehab

Tue, 01 May 2007 13:05:59 GMT

Trailer Rehab

This is before painting.

This is the ugly chair rail and the holes in the wall.

This is the transformed wall with entertainment center armoire

View of wall by front door with couches and curtains.

Close up of my wall treatment

kitchen cleaned up

my magnetic poetry kit, I have wanted one for years!

my organizers, & window I need to paint

my dish soap bottle, I plan on using the stained glass paint I used on this on the window.

Photo Album: my boys

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 03:53:39 GMT

my boys

TOWEL BOYS C

towels1e

laughing swing

boys in tub

brother love-w

Photo Album: The Old Pasture

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:28:21 GMT

The Old Pasture

barbed wire

fading stucco

fence post

honey house vent

old fencing

old fence post

old house

old house window

old saddle

old saddle top

More Photos...

Photo Album: Southern New Mexico

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 14:02:16 GMT

Southern New Mexico

Folklorico Dancers at Border Book Festival

Sidewalk Artist, Border Book Festival

Hedgehog cacti 1

Hedgehog cacti 4

Ocotillo Bloom (Fouquieria splendens)

Ocotillo Plant (Fouquieria splendens)

Photo Album: Scenes of New Mexico

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 14:50:29 GMT

Scenes of New Mexico

Fountain at El Patio

Chile Ristra

San Albino in Mesilla, NM

La Flaca dolls

Z at Fountain at El Patio

Doorway to homes off Plaza in Mesilla

Doorway in Adobe Hacienca Wall

Doorway in Adobe Hacienda Wall - notice how thick the wall is.

Custom List: Need more of Me?

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:33:18 GMT

Need more of Me?

Facebook
All the cool kids are doing it, at least that is what I hear.
Blogger
Started when spaces was hard to use, updated for like 2 people who aren't on spaces anymore.
Myspace
I use it as my free version of classmates.
Ebay
Shameless attempt to boost my sales

Custom List: New Mexico 101

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 14:30:53 GMT

New Mexico 101

Land of Enchantment? Where is that?
I'd love to hear what you think when someone mentions New Mexico.
Location, Location, Location
Answer to the basic question, where in the world is NM?
FAQ for NM

Custom List: Chile 101

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 03:15:13 GMT

Chile 101

My Guide to Salsa
Red Chile con Carne
My recipe, a guideline if you will.
Chile Pepper Institute
For all the chile information you need.

Custom List: The Ensemble

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 14:49:29 GMT

The Ensemble

Nora
That would be me.
The hubby
The long haired hippie in a red neck town.
Z
At four he keeps us in stiched with his questions and observations. Although the fiftith WHY? in a day can get tedious. A good thing he is so cute.
Max Destruction
Blond curls and blue eyes, watch out girls. He won't be two until next month, but he's already full of opinions.